And I really mean AGAIN. A few hours left till it all starts. Hopefully we’ll stay for a while this time, I really need the break. And I will make sure I get a break, I’ll take one, I want one, I need one. I don’t know if I’ve ever done that before, I’ve wanted and needed before, even said I’d take one but no, sometimes I’m too stubborn for my own good.
How long we’ll be without internet we don’t know. I’m having a secret dream of making a phonecall in the morning and we’ll have it when we arrive! But I guess that’s just a dream. A dream with more reality in would be if we sign the papers on monday and get it on monday. Maybe the first of november, maybe three weeks from monday, maybe the first of december if they want it payed the easiest way. Tomorrow compared to the first of december is one hell of a difference.
I’m drugging myself to try to save my soul and I’m planning to make it worse, or better, or maybe just more. In sixteen hours it should all be over, the worst part at least, but till then I’ll be in hell. I’m thinking that tomorrow this time the first part will be over, then on monday evening the second, then next weekend hopefully the third, and after that I’ll get to rest. After monday it should have calmed down quite a lot though. After monday I will have really earned a nice drink. If I stop this drugging of myself after tomorrow I should be clean enough to get that drink aswell. I hope that by then I will also be back online to enjoy it with my best friend who I will miss so fucking much but who promised me daily letters with pics, I’ll think of that to get me through this, every day gone means more letters and pics when I finally do get back.
